need my head/work space back

hi

i'm having trouble facing my problems. i have one big problem of a liquidation which i just need to overcome and i feel like a huge load would be taken off my shoulder if i just take care of it. but my head is not in it. and i need to get my game back. i'm slowly getting there though, i can feel it. i just need the control over my life back.

the changes have been fast and overwhelming and i haven't been taking it as easily as i would expect. i'm not adjusting as fast as i would want. but i'm here and i have to deal with now. there's really no other way. i just need to accept this as best as i could as soon as possible. the sooner i do that, the sooner i'll have peace.

hormonal

It's about time I wrote here again. I haven't been writing in my notebook and my head's a mess. I am unable to get my mood under control even when the pressure to act is high. Maybe I just need a moment of silence and a moment to get my head back in the game. I feel like my life is not my own anymore. There's this feeling of transformation and I am caught in between. I don't know how to be anybody else but me and the situation is forcing me to be someone else. But maybe there is a way to reconcile this. I'm sure there is. I'm just not strong enough yet.

Sometime I just feel like I'm less of myself. Or I have to be less of myself. Because I have to compromise. I can't maximize my potential because that would ruin my personal relationship. I miss being in control. I tried letting go of control and so far, nothing has happened still. We haven't moved forward. Maybe it's time to put my feet down and do something. I just need to get strong again.