Tell All

So here is what happened:

I went out with my ex and some friends one night. I kissed my ex's friend/bandmate. Just a bit. Not a total make out. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I thought I'd just try. Primarily because i was being crazy at the time.

The next day, my boyfriend broke up with me, which I didn't have any problem following through. I've been thinking of calling it off in, maybe, months.

I invited my ex's friend/bandmate, an almost-stranger, to my place the next day. I just really wanted to watch a movie. I had no intentions of sleeping with him but maybe I thought it would be unfair if we didn't have sex since I asked him to go all the way. And maybe it was also because he was really nice. I'm not sure anymore. Throughout the night, I started to notice how cool, nice, different he is... and my attraction for him grew. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he was a virgin, and 9 years younger.

After he left, I went out with some friends. I got upset and walked out of the bar we were drinking in. This ex-fling of mine followed me and took me to my apartment. I really thought nothing would happen. He was about to sleep when I started smoking weed. He asked me for some. That's when it started.

So there was knocking on the door. I got nervous. I had a hunch. I could feel it in my guts. True enough, it's my recent ex right outside the door.

It was crazy. Pretty violent. A giant mess of a turd.

Two days later was our last show. My ex-fling left the after-party with another girl.

I got wasted and asked almost-stranger to come over, he has just arrived from an out-of-town gig.

I think we had sex. Maybe we did. That was Sunday night.

He stayed for brunch the next day then left.

Tuesday, my housemate and I went to the laundromat. Then guy bestfriend, housemate, and I had dinner out. Ex-fling came and we all went out for drinks. We continued drinking at home. They slept over and left early evening the next day.

Almost-stranger came over again Wednesday night. Day before an event (work). I was starting to get attached to him, I think. I haven't had any sleep and I was struggling with work. Around midnight, no sleep yet and all, my sister called. She's at the police station with her boyfriend. They got arrested. So naturally I had to go to them and get them out of there.

After that, I went straight to work. It was hell. It was very hard. And in the afternoon, almost-stranger called, asking if the night my recent ex-boyfriend came over, I was in bed with another guy. I said yes. God, I thought I couldn't feel any worse but I did. I felt my whole world just crumble. I liked this almost-stranger. I really did.

I smoked a cigarette during work. Something I don't usually do.

After work, I went to my friend's place. We call it the M Place. We usually hang out there to get wasted. I was supposed to meet with almost-stranger to talk but he bailed.

Almost-stranger went to my house the next day. Of course we had sex. I asked him why he got upset, he said, "I forgot what this was." He also said I'm too crazy. After the sex, "Maybe we shouldn't get too close." He said, "yeah," and left.

That made me sad. I really, really liked him.

My crazy ex had been bugging me non-stop after that, telling me to stop seeing almost-stranger.

He was prom date for someone on Saturday. Ex-fling slept over (for a bit). I had an event Sunday. He came over noon-time on Monday. He told me that he has to take a break seeing me. Then we had lunch; he paid.

That afternoon, guy bestfriend and I drank at my house with another guy friend. Then we went out to drink some more and smoke.

The same night I fell off a fence. Did I do it unintentionally on purpose? I knew I was going to fall. Maybe I wanted to get hurt. It was just all too much.

The next day, girl bestfriend and crazy ex visited me at home. Crazy ex had pizza delivered.

The next day, Wednesday, guy bestfriend, crazy ex, and almost-stranger visited. At night, my sister and her boyfriend came over. Crazy ex go upset that when I tried being sweet with almost-stranger. He left. The rest of us had dinner out. Then almost-stranger left. Then 2 guy friends arrived. Then everybody else left.

2 guy friends and I went to our house to meet about an upcoming pro bono project. Almost-stranger came over. Crazy ex is mad. I was afraid that I had just ruined a kid's life. But apparently, no, I hadn't.

Thursday, I went to my mentor writer's place to brainstorm. Guy friend went with me but left early. I stopped by a bar where my friends where hanging out because I left my keys and my housemate was in the bar. Same night, I called almost-stranger to tell him this new story for a film pitch. He has to drop his mom off at the airport at 4am so he dropped by my place after. Gave him head.

Friday, I went out to meet feisty girl friend in UP. We smoked a lot then had tea/dinner. Then I asked guy friend R to come over and help me with my synopsis. We went to bar nearby but I didn't drink of course. i tried writing that night.

Friday night/Saturday dawn, almost-stranger arrived from an out-of-town gig. He slept while I tried to write until the next day morning but couldn't because I was chatting with my girl housemate.

My gay housemate arrived from work then a few hours later. Almost-stranger woke up. Former housemate arrived. We all hanged out. Almost-stranger left for band practice.

Rest of us went out that night to eat and drink (not me). I thought I didn't like almost-stranger anymore because he just had 6 lines of coke and he told me that my crazy ex saw me he didn't know I was there. Pretty fucked up.

After going out with my crazy ex/his bandmate, almost-stranger went to the bar where I was. It was so much fun and sweet and I just couldn't help but fall.

He went home with me of course. But I couldn't focus on the sex, I had too much in my mind.

I had to go to my hometown the next day so I knew I wouldn't see him for a while.

But I went back to QC on Tuesday. And we had lunch with housemate and it was fun and I just kept on falling for him even more.

That night, after band practice, he came over. Then we had great fucking sex. He was getting good at it, learning to be more in control.

Then on the same night, he broke my heart.