spiral

bamboo is on spotify. i don't even know what to say. there are just so many feelings happening right now. i am also unbelievably stoned.

so i'm supposed to write a script for an avp for this event of a big alcohol company. they assigned a superhero to each boss whom will wear the appropriate costume and i will have to create a story which will involve all these characters/bosses. The one they did last year was soooo terrible it went back good again. I don't even know how to top it.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Right now the only thing important is that Xavier is coming home in a month. He's only going to be here for a couple of weeks or probably less but it doesn't dampen my excitement at all. I know I will have to live a normal life until then. Keep up with work and try to earn money (because why else do we work) and I don't know the first step to do that.

My life right now has no purpose and it's killing me, slowly. I've seen this before, when I draw myself on edge and eventually there's nowhere else to go except come crashing down. I've seen this before and yet I cannot stop myself from it. My life is just an endless downwards spiral. But I have to endure. Persevere. Overcome. Hello, mature Dee.